Haiti, Mosquitos and Fall

Well ... I disappeared for a month. About a month ago my littlest and I returned from our ventures in Haiti. And there were some adventures for sure. It started at the gate when the Delta agent looked at my paper ticket and said there must be some mistake. I looked at her puzzled. She said, "Your ticket says your final destination is Haiti." So I softly smile with Ava in my arms and nod. No ma'am, that's right. She immediately asked, "Are you taking her?" It wasn't the first time I had gotten that question. We made our connection with a snack in hand and off we went to the familiar land we recently had called home. I was thankful for a friend who had called me the previous day to pray for all the gamut of emotions we would probably experience on our visit. I felt my heart beating as we landed in Port au Prince that night. We were barely deplaned before Ava ran through the lines and Haitian personnel and straight to the arms of Miguelson. The excitement was mutual! It was a sight to see and one observed by the entire crowd of travelers. Our bags made it and our trip was off to a good start. Miguelson walked us out to meet Mickenson at the entrance of the airport. Aves was equally thrilled to see him as well. My fear of having to walk out of the airport unattended in the pitch dark was relieved! We arrived at Mickenson's house in Port au Prince and met Baby Micke for the first time. I hugged Jasmine and we ooh'd and aaahhh'd over the baby. It was so good to be back.

I shouldn't have been surprised that day 2 of the trip Ava was showing signs with which I was all too familiar. She had a cold, hurting ears and a bad stomach ache. I was in touch with our good friend Debi, a nurse practitioner, who is always willing to help our little chi chi. We mainly caught up with Jasmine, held Baby Micke and Aves slept through the day. It was very hot in the house. Great but hot. We had come from sunny and 60s in Virginia to toasty oven hot in Haiti.

Friday night we went to church with Mickenson. I dragged Ava along not feeling well thinking that some familiar faces would recharge her. (Not the case). We pulled up and I was again so anxious and nervous. Mickenson saw Julienne and said he had something in the car for her. I had longed in my heart to see her and there she was. She walked to the car and opened the door. Ava's smile stretched across her face and tears of joy poured out on Julienne's face. She was in disbelief. It's not like we had called to tell her we were coming. She doesn't have a phone or access to the web or water or electricity. We embrace. It's like hugging bones, she's so thin. Ava was not her normal self that night. So many were excited to see her and touch her and hold her and she was so sheepish, not wanting to even be noticed. She felt bad but she sat in Julienne's lap and slept through the service and I couldn't help but think what a gift that was for Julienne. I greeted the others and laughed and enjoyed the company of so many of the ladies from the Monday afternoon Bible study. We hugged Bicly who has grown muscles and talked to Vladimir who held Ava gently. Tony was just inside the Hope Center trying to study for an exam when we interrupted him to say hi. He picked Ava up gingerly and she instantly wanted down and to go "home" so our visit was cut short. It was so good to be back. It filled a void in my soul that satisfied a longing I didn't know I really had.

But I knew Ava wasn't feeling well. By Saturday morning she was worse. Too sick to get a shower or eat breakfast. Oh Hannah. Why don't I learn my lesson?!! Miguelson picked us up for lunch and by then she had worsened and we were running back and forth to the bathroom. It was so good to visit with Miguelson. Ava and Guelson have a relationship I can only compare to that in Man of Fire with Denzel Washington and Dakota Fanning. By the time we left lunch I was legitimately worried about Aves. She wouldn't drink anything and I knew she was dehydrated. We went to see Guelson's new bus that he purchased and got to visit with Antonio. In the mean time I talked to Debi who offered for me to bring Ava to her but she was an hour or two away. I couldn't decide what to do so we drove back toward Mickenson's. We were half way there when Guelson says, "We got to get her better, where is Debi?" We ended up driving to Carrefou and a couple hours later, Ava is outstretched on a freezer and all of us are holding her down to start an IV. Guelson didn't like seeing her like that any more than I did. She watched Frozen while it dripped and I caught up with Debi. We all had some laughs and early into the evening we were back on our way to Mickenson's. It was his birthday and we had nearly missed it. Not entirely though, we ate the goat they prepared for the birthday festivities and ended the night with birthday brownies.

During the next few days Ava recovered and we were able to visit with friends, hold our godson, sit under the tree and eat mangoes and take in the Haiti we missed. We were there to be present. To see people and love them. I had heard a sermon recently that had talked about loving people through the "ministry of presence" and since arriving in Haiti I saw a building with painted words that read "Ministry of Presence" and God confirmed in my heart I was there without much agenda just to be supportive through presence. Little had changed. Although I vividly remembered the days of no sleep with a newborn and the constant nursing. Jasmine was tired. I didn't know how to help. I couldn't go to the market. She wouldn't let me wash their clothes. We were somewhat helpless (and needy!) It took a trip down the road and some strong muscles to fill up the drum of water for showers. With no refrigerator, it was diri ak sauce pwa in the afternoon for the main meal. The heat was relentless was relentless.

We went back to church one more time. I took our little friends in the orphanage some gifts and their faces made the entire trip worth it. They were jumping up and down to see us and we were equally as overjoyed. It was a sweet time together. We visited with others from the hill and though Ava continued to retreat into her shy spirit, it was a glorious reunion with people we love. It was so good to see Ydalia and Janette and to hug babies who had grown and teenagers still finding their path. I visited with my good friend Mensia and prayed for her studies in nursing school. It was grace to see the faces I so love and cherish.

By the end of the week Ava was better and we had decided to take a bus to Gonaives to see good friends. The bus ride was seamless and even had a touch of air conditioning. We spent a few days on the rooftop talking Haiti life, relationships, struggles, parenting. Ava had come out of her funk and we were having a blast with friends. She was swimming in the half-filled pool with friends, laughing, eating french fries and carrying on. The last day of our time in Haiti we took the bus back to Port au Prince. The return trip is never as seamless as the outbound. I've taken enough third-world bus trips to feel lucky about our ride to Gonaives. This was more normal. After a two hour delay, our bus left the station and thirty minutes down the road, it quit on the highway. Yep, no surprises. We had some miscommunication about who would pick us up and what time we would arrive. Thankfully Ava was with me and the two of us tried our best to blend in with the 40 or so angry Haitians standing stranded on the side of the road. Not what you want as an American with all valuables on your person.

We made it back to Port au Prince. Mickenson, Jasmine and I revisited a previous conversation from the week and had some discussion that left us all uncertain about the future and our relationship. I was really, really ready to get home. I laughed when the agent asked me if I'd like to give up our seats for free vouchers. "No thank you." Not at all. I wanted on the plane. It was a hard trip. Trying to reconcile feelings, recover from sickness, survive the heat, and say goodbye again.

Ava and I had an uneventful trip home and were glad we made it.

A few days later I see the news say that Hurricane Joaquim is forming and I'm supposed to be a stand in runner for a Ragnar Relay team. I keep thinking it might be cancelled. At 9:30 on Thursday night I packed a backpack with running clothes and a poncho. I didn't feel great when I woke up Friday morning. By mid-morning I was en route in the van and trying to nurse a splitting headache. I self medicated with the only two Tylenol I had and got out of the van for my first leg of the race in the pouring rain. It was wet but beautiful. Somehow I managed to squeeze out a 6:23 pace for almost 10 miles. I was back in the van in about an hour and happy to change to dry clothes. I admittedly was not enjoying the experience. My head hurt and I was cramping up sitting in that tight space in the van. We got to the school exchange point and I was bitterly cold. I walked into something I have not seen before - thousands of cold runners in a gym trying to stay warm and get a few minutes of sleep. They were all lined up like sardines and it was dark. I was able to change out of cold, wet clothes. I so much wanted to unroll a sleeping bag and lie down. We didn't have the luxury of time before it was our time to run again. I was nauseated by evening. I called Farmer. He asked if I was having fun yet. We had stopped at a little diner and everyone else was feasting on greasy grilled cheese and french fries. I called Farmer and half-jokingly asked if he would come get me. I really wanted him to but at 10pm to wake up the girls and drive to Maryland to get me seemed over the top. I sucked it up, ate a rice cake and got out of the van again at 3:30 a.m. in the downpour to run another 10-mile leg. I couldn't see anything because of the amount of rain falling and the dark path. I got into a pace and accepted that my shoes would be soaked the entire time. About 3 miles in a guy asked me what our mileage was and without even looking at him, I told him my best guess. Then he sped up a little. That's when my flashlight met with his bum and there he was running in nothing but a reflector vest and a bright pink thong. I yelled out, where are your bottoms? He laughed. I guess that's what he was going for. I tried to speed up through the massive puddles to keep from my flashlight shining on his two cheeks. I couldn't help but laugh - I mean, what the heck was I doing running in the middle of the night, with rain so heavy I felt like I might drown and my flashlight shining on some guys' naked rear end?! He sped up and passed me about the time I heard someone pass us in the van and say, hey dude, get some pants on. I passed him later in the run and made it in to the finish in time to wake everyone up in the van. They couldn't hear their cell phones it was raining so hard. By day break we tried to nap and I was aching so bad and my headache had not let up. There were a few laughs but no one had slept enough for too many jokes. I ran my last leg at about 12:45pm and I felt like a pile of bricks. I hurt all over. It was still raining. I had survived the last 24 hours on rice cakes and Tylenol. At one point the girls asked what we wanted for breakfast and I asked for Tylenol but instead we stopped in DC at Panera. I ran my last leg of 6 miles counting every step. I came around a turn and saw the Washington Monument and Thomas Jefferson Monument. I was close. I finished but I wasn't the last runner, so the finish was actually hours away. It was long and arduous. I wasn't feeling good. I drove home talking to my best friend about how I felt like I barely made it through being so tired, wet and full of Tylenol. I took a hot bath and went to bed around 7.

At midnight I woke up feeling bad. I could tell I had a fever. It wasn't until a few hours later I made it downstairs to take my temperature - 102.5. I was on the verge of throwing up and I started thinking I had the flu. I slept through Sunday with fever, headache, and a body ache I couldn't shake. I couldn't handle the light, noise or even to look at my phone. By Monday, I was worse. Farmer took me to the urgent care and they couldn't get an IV started because I was so dehydrated. They did however give me an Emitrex shot that relieved me of the intense headache. I was grateful. I slept the rest of the day. Thankfully Kelley had agreed to keep Ava and basically ended up being mom to both her and Lilly Cruz all week. By Tuesday morning we were on our way to the ER. I still couldn't open my eyes from the headache and I was so nauseated I had barely gotten anything down since the race. Tuesday was a whirlwind. I started to walk out of the ER because we don't have health insurance and it was a sure way to generate a large bill that would stretch us financially. That was just the beginning to nearly a week in the hospital. Bills, schmills. The ER I'm sure was a fraction of the overall expenses I ran up. Rebecca stopped by that morning but I was so drowsy from Morphine that I couldn't lift my head. Farmer whispered my mom booked a flight and was on her way. My blood work came back abnormal and the nurse asked a dozen questions about our "vacation" to Haiti. I corrected her that it's not vacation when you don't have running water or electricity. My white blood count was so low they wouldn't allow hardly anyone near me and put me on the oncology floor. My platelets were severely low (20,000 instead of 150,000) to the point I was warned not to shave or floss for a month in case I bled. The week was a mix of ups and downs. After the suspicion of Dengue Fever (and later the confirmation) that I had contracted it in Haiti, my symptoms were text book. Mom was by my side and that was a big help. At one point I woke up one morning to see mom eating a hamburger Farmer had brought her the night before with her coffee. I think she lost as much weight that week as I did since I was on a liquids only diet and I wasn't offering her anything. The fevers and headaches  were recurring and the rash set in later in the week. I itched so bad on the palms of my hands and the soles of my feet that I scratched til I bled and cried out in discomfort. It had to run its course. I went from bad to worse every day until by the end of the week I had started the uphill journey of recovery. I begged to go home. I missed the girls. I wanted my bed. I came home and slept. And slept some more. And slept for what seemed like a week. It has been a slow recovery. Dengue Fever kills a number of people in other countries but thankfully I was able to receive care and they kept me as comfortable as possible. I have never felt so bad in my life but God had been good to give me sweet time with mom and to be reminded what a gift it is to have good health. Mom was reading the Psalms one morning in the hospital and I was drifting in and out of sleep but it made me think very little helps me to slow down, be still and hear the Word spoken. I was too sick to go to the airport to drop Mom off but I so much appreciated her sitting with me all week.

Thank you for those of you who prayed, called, texted, etc. It was an ordeal. Needless to say I don't have any trips to Haiti on my docket now.

Mom came back a few days later for a scheduled visit and we were able to enjoy our time together so much more.

As I recovered, I've been spending my time mostly on the farm. Our landlords, the Potts, brought by meals and stopped the tractors to see how I was feeling. Kelley has made many meals from the green beans, the last of the tomatoes, the greens in the garden and the meat from their freezers. It's been wonderful to see the leaves change in our area. It's absolutely breathtaking here. I can't even describe how refreshing the change in season is for our family. I am anxious for the cold weather to come and go but after being in a land of the same season year around, it's so nice to see the seasons change. The girls have enjoyed pumpkin patches and fall festivals. We've carved pumpkins, roasted the seeds and enjoyed all that October has to offer. This week Kelley and I canned 31 quarts of homemade applesauce together. I am making it through the days now without naps and starting to give a hand on the farm again.

Work is going well for Farmer. He just had business cards printed and he has proven to be helpful in decision making already. He and Scott just signed their third contract for 2016. He is working toward partnering with Scott in Cottage Street Homes and hopes to be a 50/50 partner in the near future. He loves the home building work and the flexible schedule. Farmer said he didn't think he could return to a desk job and he hasn't by any means. Farmer and Scott are also remodeling a horse stall into a bedroom suite for family and friends who want to come stay. We are excited for them to finish it by the time Kelley's mom comes for Thanksgiving. We are spending the holidays at home this year for the first time in our 12 + years of marriage. Lilly has made friends at school and is loving second grade. Ava loves preschool and chose to be Dr. Ava for her costume parade at school. She is at a local preschool two days a week and I'm glad she's at home with me the other days. We are enjoying a church we have started attending in Leesburg, about 30 minutes from us and we joined a small group with other 30 somethings this week. We could not be happier.

Ava's prayer the other morning ... "Thank you, God, for all the nice people who live here with me." I had to laugh but I so love the laughter we have in our house and the every day adventure children bring.

The other day Ava and I went by the post office and picked up 100 chicks. A chirpy package! We have bought rabbits and have planted apple trees. The girls collect eggs that range in all colors. They have their own stage and theatre in the hay loft and come up with quite a collection of entertainment.

We are partnering with Scott and Kelley as well on the farm. I am redesigning the website so stay tuned. We are in the process of deciding on marketing strategies, planting for next year and talking about the next steps of business. We just developed our new logo and have increased our inventory. I love the idea of managing the websites, sales, etc. Kelley loves feeding the animals and cooking what she grows. Farmer is a mastermind behind building feeders, conceptualizing the future and designing the spaces that we have already. Scott is on the tractor, reading up on pigs, corralling sheep for the butcher and overseeing all of the operation. We are an excellent team and North Virginia is a dream.

This weekend we were able to see friends from Haiti in Virginia. It was so refreshing. We love the Great Bridge community and their friendships. I'm so thankful those friendships stretched outside the Hope Center walls and beyond the country we all love to our state that allows us to keep in touch.

Thank you for all of your support, prayers and love! Please let us know if you want to come see us in Virginia on the farm! We are looking forward to having company!

Guelson and his Dr. Ava 

Baby Micke! 

Mickey (his sister) and Mickenson

Bea

Jasmine is one beautiful mama

Aves helps wash apples for applesauce in her footed pajamas

Dr. Ava in the house! 

Butternut squash from the garden - makes good soup

This is our view from the front door. It's unbelievable. 

I miss all these faces so much!!